As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. Psalm 42: 1-2a

Wanting

             Last week, I was at my daughter's house with grandchildren while she was at an appointment when her almost three-year-old daughter, Makenzie, asked for a banana.  Even though there weren't any bananas in the house, which I explained over and over, even taking her into the pantry to show her the empty shelf, it didn't matter.  She wanted that banana!  Now, I'm the kind of grandma who can whip up a lot of things, but a banana out of thin air is not one of them.  Finally, out of frustration, Makenzie said, "Maybe I just want what I want!"  Well, yes.  Don't we all?  Join the club, sister!  Her straightforward statement set me to thinking about different types of wanting.

            Sometimes, we, too, want something that isn't there, something our cupboards are bare of for mighty good reason.  Maybe it's that bigger house, better car, or that other job or relationship we're sure would be better than the one we have.  In the case of James and John, their mother came to Jesus asking that her two sons be granted the right to sit, one on Jesus' right hand and the other on his left in the kingdom.

But Jesus answered and said, "You do not know what you ask.  Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?"  They said to Him, "We are able."  (Matthew 20:22)

And they were.  And did.  But still, at the time of that asking, mother and sons had no idea what they were asking for, and not only that, Jesus explained, it wasn't even up to Him to decide.  Those positions were for those for whom it is prepared by My Father (vs. 23). 

            Sometimes, when we want what we want, what we ask for isn't granted because we're asking with selfish, worldly motives:

And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong, you want only what will give you pleasure. . . .Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.                                                                                                 (James 4:3 & 8)

            Other times, when we what what we want, that thing we're asking for is something we already have but are just too blind to see.  At the Last Supper, after spending three years with Jesus, Philip said to Him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us"  (John 14:8). What?  After three years with Jesus, Philip had to ask this?! I can only imagine the pained look that must have crossed the Lord's face as He said:

"Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip?  He who has seen Me has seen the Father; so how can you say, 'Show us the Father'? Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me?  The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works."  (vss. 9-10)

            Whether our wanting and asking is out of ignorance of possible future consequences, or out of a loyalty divided between God and the world, or simply out of being too blind to see what we already have, the solution to putting a stop to wrong asking, in all cases, is beginning to cultivate a right wanting.  "Do you want to be made well?" Jesus asked the man by the pool of Bethesda (John 5).  What do you want?  Oh, that when we said, "Maybe I just want what I want," what we meant was that all we really want is for God's will to be done on Earth as it is in Heaven, want that more than anything.  Just imagine a world like that. . . .

Daye Phillippo

December 2013